The Canon Life is the Place to Be
by Rubber Duck Commander
Summary: A parody of all of the InuyashaKagome fics. Just where does Kagome get all those kinky ideas!


1**The Canon Life is the Place to Be**

Author's note: This fiction is a work of _comedy_. If you do not understand the comedy in this fic, you never will. So, if you feel you have to flame the poor, starving artist who wrote this, just remember **I command rubber ducks**! And I don't think you want an army of rubber ducks following you around all day. They squeak too much.

**Disclaimer: **Inuyasha and Co do not belong to me.

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"You know, our relationship hasn't reached... uhm, how should I put this?... our full _potential,_" A fifteen year old, dark haired girl murmured as she stirred the contents of the wooden bowl she was holding. Sitting next her, with an increasingly blushing face, sat a silver haired hanyou with golden eyes who seemed frozen to the floor. Their companions, a brunette taiji-ya and a dark haired houshi, were conveniently out of Kaede's hut.

"K-Kagome... what are you talking about?" Inuyasha, the hanyou she was talking to, asked, looking at her suspiciously. "What 'relationship'?" Kagome laughed as she put the bowl down on the ground. She gazed at him, her chocolate-brown eyes seemed to glaze over as she leaned into him. "Uh... uhm... K-K-Kago..."

"Inuyasha..." She whispered, and then, all of a sudden, she shoved him onto the ground. Her brown eyes cleared as she glared at him straight in the face. "When will you get the point!" Inuyasha's black brows wrinkled in confusion.

"What the hell— What are you talking about?" He asked, confused.

"_Arghh_!" Kagome exclaimed. "You never get it!" She pressed herself against him. "_This_ is what I want!" The hanyou's eyes nearly bulged from their sockets. "And since you seem to not want to give me it, yet..." She rose from him, noticing a large bulge had appeared in the hanyou's red outfit... She smirked at the sight. "Y'know, Inuyasha, I've been wanting that for awhile... I'm surprised you haven't seen it." Leaning to whisper into one of his dog ears, she said, "_Miroku-sama sure got the hint!_"

"**_Nani_**!" Inuyasha exclaimed, rising up quickly. He still hadn't lost that... -_ahem_- visible bulge yet. "You... and... and that... _bouzo_? Fuck!"

"Yes, that's exactly what we did!" Kagome grinned as she exclaimed it. "And it was so good... definitely better than Kouga-kun." The golden eyes of the hanyou started to turn blood red. "Though... neither were as good as..."

"Stop!" A masculine voice exclaimed from the door of the hut. The people in the hut stopped what they were doing and turned around to see...

"This Sesshoumaru would like to say that whatever you may or may not have heard from this... _ningen_... is not true. He does not like to sleep with a teddy bear."

"You–You... you did it with my _brother_, too!" Inuyasha exclaimed. Kagome blushed a bright red.

"Well... not exactly..." She answered, "It was more like a one-night stand in the forest... with..." She giggled suddenly. "His tail is so ticklish!" Inuyasha's face turned so red it was almost purple. "But... Sesshoumaru, I did not tell him anything... I was about to tell him how well versed in the _Kama Sutra_ you are, though."

The youkai looked a bit proud as he turned royally on his heel and left, leaving a raging hanyou in his wake.

"Kagome... how _could _you? You were supposed to save yourself for _me_!" Inuyasha pleaded. "You were supposed to be pure and a virgin!"

"I _was_! ... Until, of course, I got bored and... well, it gets kind of boring to tell my friends at home tales of how _wishing_ what it's like while they're _telling_ me what it's like..." Kagome answered. "And, if you weren't pining for Kikyou so much... you'd see the hints I've been dropping.

"For instance, have you seen the way I keep somehow mysteriously twisting my ankle? It's so you can _innocently_ and _accidentally_ stroke my leg, peek up my skirt, and let loose your youkai desires!

"And for another thing, don't you even _peek_ at me in my baths? Don't they get you nice and..."

Inuyasha interrupted her, "You would '_osuwari_' me the first chance you'd get!"

Kagome shook her head. "Nuh uh. Maybe early in our travels I would, but... recently I've been doing things I really shouldn't..." Her pale face blushed. "Thinking you were in the trees watching. But, I was wrong..." She started walking out of the hut, her head down.

"Wait!" Inuyasha exclaimed. The girl turned to look at him. "... Uh, Kagome, I have something to ask..."

"Yes? What do you want, Inuyasha?" Kagome's voice suddenly turned husky.

"Uhm... _where did you get those ideas_?"

Somewhere in modern-day Tokyo, a twelve-year-old boy got onto his older sister's computer, thinking, _Oh well, she's in the Sengoku Jidai... it's not like she monitors anything..._

He clicked on the Internet Explorer. All of a sudden, the words lit up the screen, and a long story filled up the rest. The boy, reading some of the lines ("her eager mouth licked up the...") and eventually reaching the end ("... he seemed to not get enough..."), turned bright red and turned off the computer.

"Kagome! What _have_ you been reading!"

**Author's note:** Tee hee. Just a little giggle while I get more ideas for **Irrational Decisions**.


End file.
